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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Another Love Interest of Nate's
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I Love Waffles and The Engadget Website
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Honk if you sacked Brodie 28-18
Friday, December 16, 2005
Best $7.75 I've spent in a while
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There aren't that many movies worth watching. However, the new King Kong is. Go now and watch it. Now. Get up. Go, you big ape!
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The Signs Are Upon Us
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Monday, December 12, 2005
The T-Mobile Fiasco
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Me: Hey, I sent in both my defective phones in one packet and thats why your system is showing that I haven't sent back the other phone.
T-Mo Rep: Oh ... ok, let me clear up this outstanding charge to your account.
Me: ... thanks! (pulling myself off the floor)
Time spent on the phone with irate reps: 8 hours
Equivalent pay lost trying to recoup my $120 charge: $200
Getting the charges waived: Priceless!!!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Pickles and Ice Cream
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Not Your Bulls of Spain
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
War Eagle!
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Monday, December 05, 2005
My Close Encounter with Death
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Friday, December 02, 2005
The Nearly Famous Editors of the Blog
Jaws or Flipper?
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Funny College Application Essay!
My Achievements by a successful NYU Applicant
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hand gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned my fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradies Lost, Moby-Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish and entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.